The Good Stuff 411

(a little long, but I hope you will find it worth the read)

I have the most fabulous therapist in the world-Barb!  My life this past year has been such a transformation, and in so many amazing ways.  I hadn’t seen Barb in over a month with our trip to Maui, getting back into the groove at work, so forth. 

A good portion of our time was spent talking about health, nutrition, food, our bodies and committing to being the best we can be, inside and out.

For Barb it was one large burrito, a bit too heavy on the cheese.  She spent an evening feeling ill, bloated…fighting off gas and indigestion and said “enough is enough”.  That same night she got online and started implementing her plan for change (Barb is a fifty-something woman with no weight issues at all).  A new start, a “rebirth” if you will on the relationship she was going to have with food.

We talked about how this process came about for me, and how it has coincided with so many other changes that were occurring, or in retrospect, were about to occur.  When I met Barb I was already changing how I ate, but I had not fully committed to the process.  I still had one foot off the raft, ready to swim for safer waters.  Food, for me, has meant comfort, indulgence, rewards, support…a friend.  But now, in reflection, I know the nutrition was really part of the realignment. 

We are what we eat, and it does not matter who you associate with, what your home looks like, what you drive, or who you “project” yourself to be.  If your insides are corroded, your energy zapped, and you fill your tank with junk (or not fill it at all)…you will feel bad.  If you feel bad on the inside, there is very little going on around you-on the outside, that will make you feel better.

So eating better, in the beginning, allowed me to feel better, to have a clear head. 

Having a clear head allowed me to see past the fog of everyday life and see clearly for the first time in so many years. 

Eating better allowed me to be receptive and open to the changes I needed to make in my life.

Making those changes allowed me to see why I filled my tank with junk in the first place.  Why the resources I gravitated too were always the ones that made me feel worse. 

So I put my foot back on the raft, stood tall and forged ahead.  Clarity all around, inside and out.

Barb said for her she has to view change as “one Step at a time”.  I agreed.  Remember for me it was just no more diet coke.  If I had cut out all soda, processed foods, meat and dairy on the day I woke up and said no more diet coke, I would have failed.  Though I think most of us like to fail when it comes to food (or too much of anything we believe makes us feel good) because failure brings us back to a place of comfort and familiarity.

When we succeed, whether in a diet, a career, a relationship…whatever it may be, we are forging new ground, breaking through new territories and braving the unknown.  Yet when we taste “Sweet Success” it feels so good, better than comfort and more rewarding than the “high” our bad habit gave us.

I remind myself most every day that  ”There are no quick fixes, if you really want to be fixed.”  Like yo-yo dieting, I was, well “yo-yo life-ING it” if you will.  Relationship highs. Relationship lows.  Life is good.  Life sucks.  Nothing can go wrong.  Nothing can go right.  The ironic thing is that IS LIFE, ups and downs.  I have just never known how to actually live it, I wanted to dictate it.  I find with women we either try to control everything, or we take a passive role, where we just let life happen to us.

This evolution has brought old friendships back to me.  Helped me forge a new and better relationship with my Husband, my Sister, and my Mom. And I have even realized that I had some pretty toxic relationships that I needed to let go, back into the world, and instead of chalking it up as “failure” I look to see what I can learn. I don’t beat myself up as much, and I have learned that the more I try to control my surroundings, the more out of control I become. 

So you my friends just got some words of wisdom, that I pay DARN GOOD MONEY FOR!

So in SUMMARY:

• Don’t expect to change it all over night = Pick just one thing and start there
• Build a foundation that will allow for future success as well = throw out the junk food, organize your pantry, find a new grocery store where you don’t know how to find all the bad stuff
• Understand progress means evolving.  View your new habits as an “evolution”…baby steps.
• There are no quick fixes
• And if you are fixated on controlling your life, your food, your kids, your husband…whatever it may be, you are probably the one being controlled. ..by YOUR FEARS!

Really all of these things can, and should, pertain to most everything we do, each and every day.

Keep expectations of yourself and others real.  Build the foundation you need to support your life.  And to put it as simply as I can – BE FLEXIBLE!

Now I am not Barb’s therapist, she is mine.  But she was honest enough with me to tell me she knows her digestive issues are more than just digestive issues, but how her body has always spoken to her when things may be less than perfect.

Of course, whatever the issue, it will find a way to express itself-to rear its ugly head.  Barb taught me that…so now I spend more time listening.  Listening to me.

Life is short people and we deserve to be happy, and only YOU can make YOU happy!